2025 March 11 Live by kindness

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 Hi, this is Jim Cranston from 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com, the podcast and website about reimagining your life. Thanks for joining me today to talk about kindness. If you like what you hear, please leave a like, subscribe, tell your friends, or send me a message.

Tonight, I want to talk about kindness in a broad sense. We all know we should be kind to others, but these days, especially, it seems like many people—on both sides of political, national, and international issues—believe that kindness is something you only extend to those who meet a specific set of qualifications.

I see and hear people who should know better casually dismissing large groups of others simply because they don’t align with their personal beliefs. Beyond making society more irritable, this kind of selective inclusion and exclusion—deciding who deserves basic decency—creates deeper divides and undermines both public and private relationships.

The news is constantly telling us who we shouldn’t care about, often in blatantly obvious ways. At the same time, we’re sometimes encouraged to celebrate bad behavior because it’s seen as justified against the "other side."

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a Certified Wilderness First Responder, which goes well beyond typical first responder training. For reference, Wilderness First Responder training is a two-week course, with regular refresher courses required to stay current. 

Recently, I witnessed a medical emergency, so I stopped to help—because, in situations like that, it’s not just a choice; it’s an obligation. The man in distress was someone I had seen a short while earlier. He had collapsed for unknown reasons. By the time I arrived, he was alert and responsive, with two other people watching over him. I could hear sirens approaching, so there wasn’t much more for me to do. I stayed briefly in case any questions came up about his medical history, as I had observed him earlier and knew a little about his condition.

I stood by for a moment, and the first responder to arrive was a police officer. Since the 911 call had been for medical assistance, you might assume his first concern would be the man’s health. But do you know what the very first words out of his mouth were?

"Do you have ID?" No introduction. No inquiry about the medical situation. Just a demand for identification. Oh, and I should mention—the man was speaking Spanish. And in today’s world, that alone seems to be enough to make someone a suspect.

I know many people in the Spanish-speaking community, most of whom are in the U.S. legally—many are even citizens. But now, in far too many cases, simply speaking Spanish or having an accent is treated as justification for demanding papers, as if it were a crime.

It’s also become acceptable for passersby to harass people—or for strangers in the checkout line to feel they have carte blanche to say whatever they want. But how can people who proudly talk about what a great and free constitutional republic the U.S. is justify behavior that directly undermines the very principles this country was founded upon?

It’s simple, and we’ve talked about it before. First, you label a group based on a recognizable characteristic—their skin color, their accent, their religion, their style of dress. Anything distinct will do. Wearing a yarmulke? Clearly an enemy, deserving of a label. Speaking a foreign language? Another enemy, another label. And once someone is labeled, there’s no need to see them as human. And just like that, kindness becomes unnecessary.

I was tempted to ask the officer: If I had been the one sitting on the curb—a reasonably dressed white guy—would your first words to me have been, "Do you have ID?" Of course not. The conversation would have started with "Are you okay, sir?"

But when someone belongs to one of these labeled groups, suddenly, respect and kindness are no longer required. This is a worldwide problem, but what does it have to do with us? Well, it’s so pervasive that we have to be careful not to fall into the same trap—even as a reaction to how we feel others are treating us.

The news—on both sides of the political spectrum—has no problem labeling 49% of the country with whatever subhuman term they think they can get away with. Maybe it drives up ratings, but it also drives a huge wedge into the coherency of our society. 

On a personal level, we may find ourselves casually dismissing large swaths of the population because, well, now it just seems kind of natural to do so. You have to remain aware of it—and try to stop yourself from doing it. As we’ve often said, we have far more in common with each other than we have in difference. And very few talking points are truly worth alienating others in the pursuit of your own perfect principles.

That’s why it’s so important to talk to other people—especially people you don’t totally agree with, and even some people you totally disagree with. You probably won’t end up as good buddies, but hopefully, at least one of you will understand where the other person’s emotion and angst are coming from.

This becomes even more important as we age. As we get older, we sometimes start to fear new or foreign ideas, and that tends to lead us down a path of isolation. Coupled with social media and so many news sources, it’s easy to box ourselves into this kind of little ghetto of similar viewpoints—and end up fearing them, or all of the different thems.

Reaching out to other people socially—if you’re planning a lunch and end up near someone else with a differing viewpoint, for example—try to listen with curiosity. You might learn something. If you're asked to defend your point of view, do it with empathy and facts—not hearsay and accusations. Always approach the conversation with understanding. It really does change how things go.

If someone says something snarky, you don’t have to reply in kind or try to one-up them. You can just ignore it and move on. If they’re at all perceptive, they’ll realize exactly what’s happening—and hopefully, they’ll learn something from it.

We only have one world and one life to live on this particular go-round. We should try to make the most of it, not isolate ourselves and make the least of it.

On a very practical level, as we age—and I know this not only firsthand but also from watching my mother for many years—our pool of friends who share our thoughts continues to shrink. It’s just one of the facts of life. Not all of us pass away at the same time, and those who live longer will find fewer and fewer people their age.

My mother was a master at having conversations without confrontation. By the time she passed away, she was probably on her third or fourth set of friends because she kept outliving the previous ones. But she knew how to see the good in people and ignore the aspects she didn’t care for. She recognized that we all have things in common and things that are different—but that’s part of the wonder of life.

Just like everything else in this world, events themselves don’t have emotions attached to them. The emotion arises when our brain interprets an unemotional event. We’ve talked about this before, and we’ll go over it again in the next couple of weeks. But always remember the bigger picture.

Some situation happens—you perceive it, recognize it, and then add emotion to it. There’s a real-time lapse in there. It’s up to you what kind of emotion you attach to an event, because that helps determine how you respond to a situation or a person. You can make baseless assumptions based on what you’ve been told, or you can choose to be curious and open-minded.

Being closed off and judgmental may seem like the safer path, but it actually hurts you by limiting your perspective and the joy you could be experiencing. By daring to be open—by being willing to judge everyone as a person rather than just a label—you open up your world in ways you might not expect.

Your homework tonight is to think about the first thoughts that come into your mind when you see a stranger. What labels did you use? If you’re walking down the street, and you see someone—stop and think, Oh, I remember my homework. What did I just think about that person? Did you use a label? Or did you not?

If you did, what was it? Was it based on a presumed political party, nationality, language, race, educational level, how they dress—anything? Now, think of two things. Where did that label come from? How else could you have perceived them?

Extra points if—despite your initial reaction—if the situation permits it and it just kind of flows naturally, you introduce yourself, say hi, and see if a conversation follows. You might be surprised—hopefully in a good way.

As always, remember, there are many wars in the world right now, and just some very bad situations happening. UKR7.com has links to ways you can donate to the people of Ukraine. They definitely need it right now—for reasons I won’t go into, but you’re probably quite familiar with them.

And then, across the world, World Central Kitchen at WCK.org  is always working. Anytime there’s a natural disaster, they’re on the ground helping people. They do amazing things—both are great organizations.

But if you don’t want to donate to someone internationally, I guarantee there’s probably a need in your own neighborhood, in your own area. There are always people who could use help. And if you’re just not the kind of person who wants to donate—if you feel like giving money to organizations isn’t what you want to do—remember, you can always make someone’s day nicer.

Just by saying, Good morning, How are you doing?—a friendly smile, whatever it is. Those little things—thinking outside of yourself and seeing someone else—help you empathize and understand the world on a much deeper level.

Remember, one of the best ways to care for yourself is to care for others. As always, thank you for stopping by. If you found something interesting or useful, please pass it along. And please subscribe and hit that like button. If not, drop me a comment about what you’d like to hear.

Have a great week. Remember to live the life you dreamed of, because that’s the path to true contentment. Love and encouragement to everyone. See you next week on 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com. Thank you so much.