2024 December 17 Age versus Aging

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 Hi, this is Jim Cranston from 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com, the podcast and website about reimagining your life. Thanks for joining me today to talk about age versus aging. If you like what you hear today, please leave a like, subscribe, tell your friends, or send me a message. Let’s dive in!

Tonight, we’re talking about feeling your age—or maybe not quite feeling your age. I came across a fascinating article this week, and it’s not about aging in the way you might expect. The title of the article is When Middle Age Arrives in Your 20s. Kind of gives the punchline away, doesn’t it?

The article discusses a trend—a sort of mini-epidemic—of young people, even those in their 20s, feeling like they’ve entered middle age. And before you laugh, it’s not at all like that old song by The Who, I hope I die before I get old. It’s not about that. These are high achievers—some even overachievers—who are feeling overwhelmed.

They’re facing a combination of pressures—rising house prices, student debt, intense competition at work, retirement planning, having children, and even taking care of older family members. When you couple all that with constant stressful events at home, school, and work, it’s no surprise they’re feeling stretched thin.

For many of these young people, the big ambitions of their younger selves are starting to feel unattainable. They’re realizing they no longer have the energy they once did, and that’s leading some to settle for less than what they’d originally hoped for—and they’re doing it at a surprisingly young age.

Conversely—and as I say this, it makes me really sad to think about—more than one in ten adults over 65, over 10%, feel like they’re still middle-aged. So, what’s going on with this big role reversal? If you’ve been following along, you might already have a pretty good idea of some of the root causes.

In short, younger people have lost their vision—and with it, their hope—of achieving what they once dreamed of. There are likely many reasons for this, but I’d point to some familiar culprits. One of the biggest is the false realities created by social media. It’s that nagging feeling of “Everyone’s on vacation except me,” amplified by endless curated posts.

Then there’s the growing pressure from societal expectations, often fueled by marketing and social media. A striking example is an Audi ad from a few years ago in China that blatantly compared women to used cars. They got called out on it, but it’s far from the only ad like that. There are so many campaigns that subtly—or not so subtly—imply, “If you don’t have this, then you’re not worth much.”

And the list goes on. Of course, there are the constant societal expectations drilled into us from every angle—TV ads, radio ads, social media, newspapers—you name it. It’s relentless. For example, if you truly loved your family, you’d take them to Disney World. Every ad seems to feature someone carefree, holding the keys to a new house or car, with no mention of payments, of course.

You see images of people meeting their spouse or significant other for lunch at a fancy restaurant, without a single worry about schedules or responsibilities. And, of course, society insists you have to go to college. It’s an endless list of “must-dos” and “shoulds” thrown at us from every direction.

Now, let’s look at the 10% of older adults over 65 who still feel middle-aged. Chances are, these are people who’ve taken steps to care for their health. They probably started by questioning the FDA’s food pyramid—rightly so, since it’s been debunked so many times it’s barely worth discussing. Then there’s all the so-called health food pushed by multinational food companies. I can’t tell you how often I see products in the health food aisle where the first ingredient is sugar. Really? That’s healthy?

Many of the people I know in that 10% group—and I know quite a few—tend to march to the beat of their own drum. They question norms, make their own choices, and don’t blindly follow what society tells them to do.

Don’t like my 20-year-old car? Well, I like not having to make a car payment. Think it’s silly to keep learning when you’re older? I enjoy being respected by my peers and others because I can talk about current events and technology without excuses like, “Oh, I could never learn that.”

It all comes down to your mindset and attitude. These are people who took control of their lives in different ways. And, as we’ve discussed before, there are so many positive physical and psychological benefits when you feel like you’re in control or when you take steps to regain that control.

One of the biggest benefits is that it encourages people to stay active. For example, if you make a point to go out and meet someone once a week, that simple act has enormous health benefits. It’s not just about getting in the car, driving to a restaurant, having dinner, and going home. The psychological boost you get from social interaction drives all sorts of physical health benefits.

Many of us grew up under the constant threat of nuclear war—some of you may remember the 1960s, when Russia was moving nuclear missiles into Cuba. Talk about terrifying; that was right in our backyard. Those were stressful times, but it’s a reminder of how resilience and adaptability can shape our lives.

Where I live, we were actually in a priority one zone. I was roughly halfway between New York City and several Strategic Air Command (SAC) bases farther north. There was no question—we would be wiped out in the first wave of any nuclear conflict. So, what did we do?

We practiced survival drills. We studied how to build bomb shelters. But more importantly, we prepared ourselves mentally to confront the future and move forward, no matter what challenges might come our way.

Now, let’s compare that to many of today’s young people. They’ve grown up in a culture that emphasizes groupthink and fitting in with the "cool crowd." For instance, if you dress differently or, and this one really gets me, if you use an Android phone instead of an iPhone in certain schools, your friends might gang up on you, mocking you on social media for being "weird" or "out of touch."

On top of that, today’s younger generation has been fed a steady diet of hopelessness in the news. The message seems to be: "There’s no solution unless the government or a world organization does something." The idea is that the problems are too big, and there’s nothing you as an individual can do about it. It’s a disheartening mindset that leaves little room for personal empowerment or action.

When hurricanes hit your area, you’re often left waiting and hoping the government will show up to save you. But sometimes, waiting isn’t the best option. Take Lyons, Colorado, for example. Back in September of 2013, the town experienced what they called a 500-year flood. Much of the town was washed away—it was an event of massive proportions.

FEMA arrived after a couple of days and told the residents, “You’ve got to leave. You’ve got no sewer, no water, and it’ll probably take years before this place is livable again.” But these were Rocky Mountain individualists, and they didn’t agree.

Many of them, younger than me, loved their town and knew what they were capable of. They believed in working together. So, instead of giving up, they got to work. Within a couple of weeks, they had basic services running again. A few weeks later, secondary services were up and running too. The entire community pulled together, each person contributing what they could. They didn’t stand around waiting to be saved—they became their own saviors.

By the following summer in 2014, the RockyGrass Bluegrass Festival returned to Lyons, along with visitors who stayed in town. Was everything perfect? No. But FEMA had said it was hopeless and advised abandoning the town. Yet, by the time they were done, the residents had created something far better than what anyone thought was possible.

But that mindset has become rare. When you feel helpless, it’s easy to get worn down and lose hope. And when hope fades, so do energy, ambition, and faith in the possibility of change. On the other hand, when you feel empowered, the opposite happens—you start to believe you still have options.

These options may not be the same as the ones you had yesterday or 20 years ago, but they’re still options. And having that belief energizes you to keep working towards your goals and vision. That’s why some 75-year-olds still feel middle-aged, while some people in their mid-20s feel like they’re already past their prime, stuck in a midlife or end-of-life mindset.

We’ve discussed ways to address this before, and we’ll revisit them in the future, but the big takeaway is this: you have far more control over how you react to life than you may realize. And your response has a huge impact on how you feel about life. Of course, some situations are more challenging than others, but there’s always an option to make a change—or at least to change your perspective.

Even the smallest steps towards your vision can create a significant shift in your attitude and your health. Many young people today are weighed down by societal norms that don’t hold real value in their lives but have been presented as essential for living a full life. This can make them feel like failures when, by many metrics, they’re an incredibly successful generation. Unfortunately, they don’t see themselves that way.

And here’s the thing—those same forces dragging them down can affect you, too. Before you dismiss or judge younger generations, take a moment to look in the mirror. Ask yourself: What lies am I believing that make me undervalue myself or my achievements? The answers might surprise you.

Because the same social forces affecting younger generations are also influencing older ones—often in more obvious ways and with deeply ingrained biases. But this presents an opportunity. Instead of acting as a harsh critic, you can be a role model. Lead by example, not through lectures, but simply by showing others—especially younger friends and associates—how to live with purpose and energy.

When they ask, Where do you get all that energy? you can tell them: I try to take care of my health. I have strong spiritual beliefs, whatever they may be. I have goals I’m still eager to accomplish. And I believe I still have so much to offer the world. Share the things that motivate you to get up each day excited about life.

This isn’t about preaching—it’s about sharing. If they’re curious and want to know more, that’s your chance to reveal the practices or philosophies that keep you happy and energized, even at 70 or beyond. That’s how you show them that it’s possible to feel middle-aged long past society’s arbitrary definitions of youth.

Now, here’s a simple exercise for tonight. Think about the beliefs you hold about your age: Should you have aches and pains? Should you be forgetful? Whatever those beliefs are, challenge them. What if, tomorrow, you started the day with the opposite mindset? Tell yourself, I feel mostly pain-free today, and focus on living with that belief.

Sure, everyone has aches and pains—even young people. So don’t let one sore muscle derail you. Instead, shift your perspective: If I end the day without some new aches, maybe I didn’t do enough today. Begin your day with a fresh, positive thought process. And as you go about your day, write down how this shift in mindset impacts your actions, mood, and overall outlook.

Because, you know, you have so many great thoughts constantly flowing through your mind. It’s not that you’re forgetful—it’s that your mind is full of valuable information, and you’re trying to keep track of all the new ideas coming in. Stop framing it in a negative light. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of this mental activity.

Work from a positive place, not a critical one, and see if this mindset shift helps you feel better about yourself over the next few days. That’s it for tonight’s discussion. And, as always, it’s important to remember that the world is facing many challenges right now. There are wars ongoing, and things might seem overwhelming in various parts of the world. But that doesn’t mean things are hopeless—just that the times are challenging.

For those looking to help, UKR7.com provides a list of links to organizations supporting Ukraine. They could use continued support, especially during this uncertain period when nobody knows how things might unfold in the coming months.

Another organization worth mentioning is World Central Kitchen. They specialize in providing food in disaster-stricken areas around the world. What’s remarkable about their approach is that they utilize local resources, which not only helps feed people but also supports the local economy. While other organizations might still be figuring out logistics, World Central Kitchen is already on the ground, making a difference. You can learn more or donate at WorldCentralKitchen.org.

As we talked about earlier, donating to organizations like these is one way to contribute meaningfully to global efforts. Every little bit helps, and it’s a reminder that, even in times of great difficulty, positive action is possible.

There are many local organizations collecting donations this Christmas season. Whether it’s food, gifts for kids, or other needs, there are plenty of ways to give back. But if you’re not in a position or mindset to donate financially, remember that there are still countless ways to help others.

One of the best ways to care for yourself is to care for others. We’ve talked about this a lot—looking beyond yourself. A simple smile when you meet someone on the street, being kind and friendly, can make all the difference. Take a moment to engage in a little conversation, go beyond the usual “Hi, how are you?” Compliment them, maybe say, "You look really sharp today." It’s a small gesture, but it can make someone feel seen and cared for. And who knows? It might just change their day—or even their life. It could, quite literally, change the world.

That’s it for today. As always, thank you for stopping by. If you found something interesting or helpful, please share it with others. Don’t forget to subscribe and hit that like button. If you have any suggestions or topics you’d like to hear about, leave me a comment.

Have a great week, and remember to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. That’s the path to true contentment. Sending love and encouragement to everyone. See you next week on 7EveryMinute, and 7EveryMinute.com. Thank you!