2023 September 19 Let your vision guide your choices

Hi, this is Jim Cranston from 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com, the podcast and website about reimagining your life. Thanks for joining me tonight to talk about making difficult choices. So let's get started. If you like what you hear, please leave a like and tell your friends and send me a message.

Sometimes situations arise where it's better just to finish it off and get a piece of your life done and move forward. Last week, I mentioned that I had a lot of things going on in my life and, as often happens, time sometimes makes things a lot clearer. Sometimes getting to that point is particularly difficult.

One of my favorite sayings is Physician, heal thyself. It's usually easier to fix someone else than to change yourself. I had the opportunity for an employment change with a group of people that I know well. They're old friends, and I really enjoy their company. There are many exciting aspects to the opportunity. 

Of course, wherever you already are is at a disadvantage because you already know all the problems. They say that the grass is always greener when you consider the unknown. But after a few meetings, I stepped back and talked to other people. Describing the situation to other people is one of the best ways to clarify something. 

Teaching, is the best way to learn and clarify something. The next best way is discussing it with somebody in depth. So after discussing this with a number of friends, I realized that that I was approaching this way too much like an engineer, and not enough like a life coach. I went back and reevaluated everything in terms of life impact and my own goals, and that helped clear up a lot of questions and decisions.

A lot of times, we tend to ignore the good that's in the things that are right in front of us, and I was forgetting to do what I encourage you to do: to step back and evaluate all the possible paths forward in terms of how they support our own goals and vision. 

Someone who's always been an inspiration to me in the company where I work has always made a point to excel at everything she does, no matter how seemingly trivial. This puts her in a different mindset, and also creates a different path for her in the company itself because she's known as someone who always gets things done. She's always nice, and she has the same stresses and pressures that I do. Plus, I happen to know she has some personal ones. Things that I just can't imagine. She's made the choice to react differently than I have, and she's made a different path for herself. It's really up to each one of us to make the most of what we have. We tend to think, it is what it is. That it's fixed. Usually the situation isn't fixed, and often it can be improved.

We tend to think of improvement as having to look somewhere else, to find something better somewhere else, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. That doesn't mean you should ignore any problems that you have or challenges in the current situation, but the cure for that problem may actually come from within us, not just by looking to try something new because every new situation will have new challenges as well.

I try to avoid focusing on the negative side of things where I work right now, but sometimes negative thoughts creep into your perceptions. They creep in on little cat's feet. You don't really hear them. You don't see them. But over time, you look and say, Wow, I really haven't given this a fair shake. I realize that it's up to me to change my attitude, and to try and change my situation so I can make the most of it and improve other areas of my life by not being so stressed about this one. 

It's always difficult when you have a decision and both sides have a lot of good points to them. It's a wonderful thing, but you have to remember that both sides also have challenges, and nothing's ever really perfect. I had done a whole list of pros and cons for comparison, but that doesn't really capture the secondary effects, and that's what really made the difference.

The really good part is that, even though I passed on one fantastic opportunity - and truly it is fantastic. I adore the people. I respect them professionally. They're great friends. But by passing on that opportunity, it refocused my attention in areas where I could improve not only my existing situation, but also other areas of my life at the same time.

I was particularly fortunate to have obvious choices. Choice A or Choice B is very obvious. In many situations, we have other choices, but we don't realize them. They could have been made at any point, but it just took an outside influence to make me realize that they've been there all along.

It was a good reminder, and a good life lesson, that when you're faced with a difficult situation, it's often best to just step back and evaluate it in terms of whether it supports your life vision or not. Then the choice will usually become pretty clear, although not necessarily easy.

I was speaking with my friend earlier. I wanted to honor him and give him as much time as we needed to, to go through the whole situation. It was a tough conversation, because I do truly respect him. I thought he was more than fair in the offer that he made. But sometimes you just have to look at it and say, this is a really good offer, but because of my vision and my goals, it's not a really good offer for me. It may become clear, but nothing says it's going to be easy. So when you come across a difficult situation, go back to basics. Think about what your life vision is, and hopefully that will clear things up for you and make it as easy as it can be. 

So that's it for the evening. I hope you use this a little bit because we all have decisions, sometimes difficult decisions, all the time through life. Things happen. Good or bad. Which way should I go? Go back to your basic core beliefs. Go back to your fundamental wants and wishes and hopes and dreams and that vision that you put into your life. That'll usually guide you to get to where you want to be. 

Your homework (always optional) is to think about some existing situation that you're either in or been in recently that you would have liked to have been better. Try and see how changing your attitude could have made it more tolerable, possibly even enjoyable. Extra points if you also think about how your attitude affected others around you and affected the situation itself, and maybe inadvertently made a challenging situation even more challenging, how you could have been an agent for positive change instead.

Maybe what you found to be a challenging situation never would have even existed. Remember, we do affect the world around us. So if you have a positive attitude, you tend to get positive outcomes. Doesn't always work out to the degree that we'd like it to, but certainly you can make the best of the opportunity that presents to you.

So that's it for the evening. Don't forget the link to donate to various organizations to help in the Ukraine. UKR7.com  A link to the World Central Kitchen is there as well. WCK.org  They are probably in Morocco and Libya right now, too, after the earthquakes and floods.

We always say that one of the best ways to care for yourself is to care for others. It changes the focus from looking inside to looking outside of yourself and changes your perspective on the world. It's a great way to improve your vision and help somebody if you can. It's not necessarily just about giving money. Any way you can help somebody in support, just giving them either verbal support - however you can - give it a shot. I think you'll be pleased how it works out. 

As always, thank you for stopping by. If you found something interesting or useful, please pass it along and please hit that like button. If not, please drop me a comment as to what you'd like to hear. Have a great week. Remember to live the life that you dream of, because that's the path to true contentment. Love and encouragement to everyone. See you next week on 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com. Thank you.