2022 September 13 Living with change

Hi, Jim Cranston from 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com, the podcast and website by, for, and about Baby Boomers. Thanks for joining me tonight to talk about change and acceptance. So if you like what you hear, I'd appreciate it if you hit the like button and if not, please drop me a line as to what you like me to cover.

So last week was super full for me. I guess actually in retrospect, it was a little bit overfull, as it turned out. I was supposed to help one of my sons move two weeks ago, and then that got postponed. Then FinCon 23 was last week and because of the unfortunate recent passing of my friend that I talked about, meant there were two services to attend.

So naturally it ended up that all three things ended up in this past week, and in three different states of course, up and down the Eastern seaboard. As I was traveling around in my trusty 1998 Dodge Dakota, it decided that was the perfect time that it needed a new fuel pump. It was on the New Jersey turnpike, on the old part with really narrow shoulders.

So everything was all exciting, lots of things going on. All of that could have been super stressful. Two of the three items planned got washed out really, only one of them really happened completely due to breakdowns and conflicts.

The result was that I met some really awesome people, and they really were awesome. At the repair garage, I found a good gluten free place to have dinner. I had time to contemplate how many good things had actually happened for a situation that could have been pretty dicey. I had many unplanned personal changes, but by using the techniques that I talk about every single week right here, I was able to turn a pretty stressful situation into a learning experience and a relatively pleasant diversion.

But the real emphasis that I wanted to talk about tonight is how much difference your own attitude can make. Most of the time I spent helping move one of my children from one house to another, I got to spend a lot of time with the grandkids, which is always awesome. I love the grandkids. 

About half of them were excited about the move, and half of them were pretty unhappy. Now there are a number of factors at play, obviously, but it was still pretty dramatic because everyone involved was having the same experience with the same start and finish situations with the same peers. Everything was as identical as it could be. The only thing that was really different were their own perceptions. So equally interesting was how their own self-created reality then helped form their own actual reality 

Their dog, sweet Daisy, took herself on a tour of the neighborhood, which is my fault for leaving a door open. But she was captured and returned by a really nice family that had a bunch of little young girls. They were all excited to have this dog and meet new people in the neighborhood. So the two upbeat kids got to see them and wave to them and be all excited. So they got a really positive introduction to the neighborhood. The two unhappy kids, however, didn't really even go to the door because they knew nothing good was going to happen. And indeed for them, nothing did.

It was fascinating to see firsthand how, even at a very young age, our expectations do so very much to form our own reality. Now, I'm quite sure, if they were asked how the move went or the new neighborhood was when they got to school, probably the answers of the two that had a good time and the two that didn't would be completely different from each other. To each of them, it would be their own reality. We've talked about this a lot, but it was demonstrated so clearly to me this past week. I thought it was worth covering again. 

We should ask ourselves in every situation. How am I expecting this to end? If possible, how can I influence the outcome by having different expectations? Whether it's how we interpret a response to a question we ask someone, or how we envision a situation is going to end, a lot of how it goes and how we perceive that it goes is probably determined by our own vision.

If you expect to be annoyed, chances are very good that you'll be correct and you'll end up annoyed. But if you're able to see the good possibilities, you might at least be able to find some pleasure in what you're going to go through, and even make someone else happy along the same way. Just like we often create our own personal future by our vision and expectations, we can create our own reality and even influence situations simply by our expectations, which then go on to influence our behavior. 

It's not always easy, but perhaps the next time you have something potentially unpleasant to do, instead try to envision the best that could actually happen instead of the worst. Then don't look for some way to be disappointed, but instead look for some way to be appreciative and find the good things that happen instead. Like everything, this isn't the magic, make-it-all-better solution, especially in dangerous or very painful situations. But for the dozens and hundreds of everyday interactions that we have, if you look for the good, you'll probably find it.

You might also find that you're having a better day than you'd expected. So I hope you can practice some positive envisionment, not just for your big goals, but even for all the little things and situations that happen with you every day. I hope that, like I did, that you can find that even frustrating situations can be much more tolerable or even fun, by searching for the good.

So that's it for the evening. Thanks very much for stopping by. Please remember the war in Ukraine. It's still continuing. I know you may be seeing more mentions in the news that Ukraine is gaining territory back and things are looking all just awesome.

Winter's coming. The situation's still very bad. Russia is probably not gonna just walk away from this. They're just regrouping. So this isn’t being a Debbie downer looking forward, but the reality. Even if things are turning, there's a huge way to go. The situation's far from resolved. So please keep Ukraine in your mind.

Keep the people in your mind. Like I said, winter's coming. It's gonna be an extremely difficult situation for everybody. Remember, one of the best ways to care for yourself is to care for others. If you can and you're able, please check it out. UKR7.com. Same as always. There's another place. Please try and keep them in your mind and pass it along.

As always, be true to yourself. Live your life aligned with your own goals. Thanks for stopping by. If you found something interesting or useful, please pass it along. If not, please drop me a comment as to what you'd like to hear. Please hit the like button if you enjoyed what you saw, and have a great week. Thanks for visiting. Remember to live the life that you dream of, because that's the path to true contentment. Love and encouragement to everyone, and see you next week on 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com. Thank you.