2022 June 21 Create your own future

Hi, this is Jim Cranston from 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com, the podcast and website by,for, and about Baby Boomers. Thanks for joining me tonight to talk about how we can create our very own future. So let's get started. 

But first, the regular reminder: I'm not a medical professional, and I'll be talking about things that I personally find useful and helpful. If you find yourself feeling truly hopeless and depressed, please seek professional medical help, or just dial 911. Also starting July 16th (getting very close now) and available in some areas already, dialing 988 will connect you with immediate assistance. The main number is 800-273-8255.  Something good to know for yourself or for a friend. 

So let's get started on things. We've talked in the past about how we can define our goals and then envision them, and having reached those goals, really, to convince our mind that we're fully capable of obtaining something.  Then once we convince our mind, then the mind realizes it's important to us, and it becomes much easier for us to move forward towards those goals.

 We've also talked about how talking down to ourselves can be so destructive. This negative self talk is particularly limiting. If we decide to try something new, maybe try to get some part-time work, or enter a new relationship, anything that would cause us to be a little bit uncomfortable or uncertain - if we have a habit of negative self-talk, then we tend to believe that more than we tend to believe reality.

We're usually pretty good at noticing little signs and hints when we meet people. So imagine you're interviewing for a part-time job or a volunteer position, or introducing yourself to a potential date or something. So which do you think sends a better message? Something like, Hi, I'm Jim and I'm really not good at technology, or I'd like to volunteer, but I'm not very good with people or Nice to meet you. Both my exes say I'm really difficult to live with.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. The other party will learn about both the strengths and weaknesses. So why not start with a good side? Maybe start with, Hi, I'm Jim and I'd be excited to learn more about technology or I'd like to volunteer and do whatever is needed to help your clients or Nice to meet you. I'm happy to have the company of such a super nice person. 

All six statements are true. So it's up to you to envision the good you, and to share that part of yourself in every encounter, because although the three examples I gave are pretty obvious, I've seen it play out both ways all the time in my daily interactions with others.

I was recently in a presentation where, unbeknownst to me, I was to be the lead presenter and no one had bothered to tell me this. So upon learning that I was supposed to start talking pretty soon and talk for the next 45 minutes, I immediately tried to engage the audience and I tried to present all the good things we could do and answered any questions that came up.

Then in follow-up questions, the only negative points raised were from other members of my own team, even though people I was presenting to were defending my points against my own team members. So what was going on? Some of the other members of my team had clearly gotten themselves into this mindset where all they could see were potential problems and they forgot to recognize all the good aspects of what we could bring to the table.

Interestingly enough, this couldn't have happened just during the presentation, but they must have been envisioning all the things that could go wrong and had prepared answers for them and totally missed all the good things that could happen as well. It was a beautiful, though somewhat unfortunate, example of making a self-fulfilling prophecy.

They were so sure there would be nothing but issues, they couldn't even recognize that only good points had been presented. Now that happened in a very abstract and impersonal business presentation. Imagine that same scenario, but now all the topics are about you, perhaps at the deepest levels, your skills, your ability to learn your confidence, your appearance, your habits, your history, your personality, everything about you, and possibly everything about which I've been doing one or two things.

You've either been nurturing those qualities and working to improve each one - perhaps you've been beating yourself up and talking down to yourself with negative self-talk, assuming that tomorrow you'd be no closer to what you wanted to be than you are today. You're the same person in each case, and it's up to you to choose, to recognize, the good person that exists inside each one of us. You can celebrate the good parts, improve the weak parts and be thankful for what you have. Or you can focus on every weakness, believe only the negative things that you've heard, and feel that if you don't have everything, then you have nothing. 

Similar to the quality of the questions we ask ourselves to define our goals, it's also up to us to evaluate our own lives fairly and with kindness. Then to ask ourselves questions about ourselves in a fair and kind manner. None of us is perfect, but it doesn't help us to only focus on every possible. Yes, self-improvement is good and important, but it also should be a positive and joyful experience in our lives.

Being pulled forward into happiness is far more effective and lasting than trying to push ourselves into improvement by belittling ourselves. That's the whole point of envisioning the future that we want. Pulling our brains forward first, then that'll allow our brains to pull us forward, our whole life forward, naturally. If we envision how we want our inner lives to be, we'll also tend to live our lives in a way that our vision becomes a reality naturally, and with joy. So good luck practicing your goal setting and goal envisionment. If your goals support your own life purpose, then your brain will do amazing things to help you get there.

Thanks for stopping by. Stay healthy. Care for others. Remember to care for yourself first, because that way you can always be at your very best. 

Don't forget the war inUkraine is still going on. If anything, it’s getting worse. It's just going on and on.The news this week looks hopeful they'll be admitted into the EU, which would be really exciting. It's far from over, and now some of the military opponents are saying, Oh, this could drag on for years.

So if you're able and interested, the page of donation links are still up at UKR7.com. If somebody asks you, Gee I wish you could do something, you say, Wow, there's humanitarian links, all sorts of links for donations at UKR7.com. Because remember: one of the best ways that you can care for yourself is to care for others.

So as always, be true to yourself. Live the life that's aligned with your true goals and feelings. Thank you for stopping by. If you found something interesting or useful, please pass it along. And if not, drop me a comment as to what you'd like to hear. 

Have a great week. Thanks for visiting. Remember to live the life that you dreamed of, because that’s the path of true contentment. Love and encouragement to everyone, and see you next week on 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com. Thank you so much. Good night.